China’s new views on marriage and “Sheng Nu”
Today, China has evolved and grown into an upper-middle-income country, coined together with being the world’s second-largest economy. It is the largest country in Asia with the largest population in the whole world. However, while China continues to develop and flourish, there is just one underlying issue that has been slowing down – marriage. In today’s context, there has been an increasing number of young Chinese people who have been resisting getting hitched. This problem alarms the China authorities as the Chinese government views marriage and having a family as a basic building blocks for society to progress and improve.
Dating back to traditional Chinese culture, marriage was seen as a symbol of acceptance, social inclusion among the community, and the opportunity for advancement of societal status (Hesketh, 2009). More often than not, marriages were viewed as a contract between two households with the main desire of continuing the family surname instead of the perceived “cliché” love. Yet, for the Chinese millennials of today, despite the marriage being recognized as one of the main objectives during your time on this earth, as well as how the prospect of having children is being so heavily emphasized and encouraged, this “normal” passage of life comes about various obstacles and challenges, leading to millennials having different perspectives about getting married. Many millennials now adopt a carefree lifestyle, focusing on their own happiness instead while having the idea of not forcing love but allowing it to come to them naturally instead. This mindset was typically commodified by millennials born after the 1990s and was an aftereffect due to the booming and fast-paced social and economic transformation throughout the years, leading to traditions being reversed (TODAYOnline, 2019). While tying the knot with their significant other, can offer stability, Chinese millennials view it as subjecting themselves to societal pressure, love, and the loss of freedom.
Another significant reason why views on love and marriage are rapidly changing in China is due to Chinese dating shows. Dating shows have become incorporated into one’s life as part of an important ingredient in their cultural diet, attracting a massive quantity of daily viewers. For generations, marriage in China was more often than not arranged by parents, who took into consideration of wealth, social status, and bazi (8 cyclic Chinese characters), making sure that both parties matched up with one another. The children often have no power or say in the decision-making process. But by the early 1990s, the ideology of dating and marriage was redefined as dating shows rose to popularity, resulting in the traditional way of courtship and marriage stereotypes fading out. However, as time passed, the need for expansion and dramatization increased. By the late 2000s, in order to satisfy the viewer’s hunger for wanting more engaging content, TV shows eventually became more commercialized by having sponsored product placement, and the concept of love and marriage changed. Back in 2010, an unemployed male beau on a popular dating show If You Are The One questioned a female contestant if she was willing to go on a date on his bike. To everyone’s surprise, the female contestant not only outrightly rejected his kind gesture but commented that she would “rather weep in a BMW” than share giggles on a bike. Traditionalists took a stance by arguing that dating shows reflected poorly on the new generation as they were portrayed as narcissists, discriminating against the less fortunate. Such occurrences were what sparked controversy and highlighted the rise in one’s materialistic values which shaped the new age perception of the current idea of dating.
Comparative to western cultures, China still seeks a traditional value system for seeking love and marriages. However, with evolution, these customs are shifting radically. In today’s Chinese society, while we see more and more people getting married later, we also silently observe a steady increase of highly educated, well-paid, and independent career women taking over the economy by storm. Ironically, women with empowerment and those with a good educational background are perceived as being less feminine and are seen of as less “proper” women. These women of marriageable age usually have trouble finding love and getting married. Single women who are aged 27 and older, and have a rewarding professional lifestyle, are often described through the derogatory terms “Sheng Nu” or “Leftover Women” (Shlam & Medalia, 2020). This term was started back in 2007, by a government organization that was overseeing the responsibility of protecting as well as promoting women’s rights and policies. However, it is a sarcastic move to say that the organization’s main aim is to shield women, yet deliberately illustrate them as being the leftovers. In the same year, in the official lexicon, the Ministry of Education added the expression “Sheng Nu”. This was portrayed as a social jab and an aggressive campaign to pressurize career-driven women in giving up their jobs and starting a family for the “betterment” of the country’s growth.
A screenshot of SK-II's new video campaign "The Expiry Date”.
When one gets tagged with this phenomenon of being a “Sheng Nu”, their value on the marriage market decreases, and if she still does not conform to the status quo of finding a good husband and settling down, she is then deemed by social standards as a living failure, no matter the level of success she reaches in her career (Ge, 2018). However, finding a good partner is not easy for these women. In a study done by To (2013), it was found that countless Chinese career women were shunned by male suitors due to their domineering economic achievements. As a society that very much favors males over females, China remains a country that deems men as being superior, hence when a woman is seen as having higher economic status, it intimidates and bruises the male’s ego. Another reason why women are more likely to choose and become a “Sheng Nu” is due to the patriarchal persistence in following the traditional custom of fulfilling household responsibilities. Many women are often offered long-term relationships and especially marriages if they were to give up on their career upon getting the ring. Yet, despite longing for it, many chose to give up on marriage chances. Sadly, the media is also not in favor of “Sheng Nu”, condemning them for being too picky and materialistic by not wanting to marry someone who is financially “prepared” for marriage, criticizing that there must be something wrong with the woman’s mindset. In addition, the All-China Federation of Women posted online articles attaching the subject of “Leftover women” offering advice on matchmaking and even a psychological analysis of reasons why women chose to marry later (Magistad, 2013).
To reiterate male superiority in a patriarchal society, upon marriage, women are expected to give up their power for men. That meant that when it comes to sharing the deed of a couple’s property, because of the decrease in the woman’s activeness in the labor force and a marriage law which highlights that upon divorce, the house in whose name is on the deed tips gender power balances, this ends up making everything more favorable to the males. This then makes women especially those who marry young and are financially dependent on their husbands, vulnerable (Fincher, 2014), resulting in women being less receptive to being wedded.
However, in retrospect, “Sheng Nu” should be viewed positively instead. These women, despite a derogatory term being attached to them, still persisted and fought for themselves, breaking away from the labels that society had given them. A “Sheng Nu” is the living embodiment of resilience and endurance, being sure of what one wants and determined to the end, all the good characteristics of the Chinese values (Merriman, 2015). It is a pity that this patriarchal society is unable to see the fantastic qualities that these women uphold, yet constantly targets “Sheng Nu" as the main problem for declining marriages aggressively.
In conclusion, a “Sheng Nu” is by no means leftovers in any sense. Instead, these women should be considered the epitome of what one should become and what one should look for in a successful marriage. They are under-appreciated beings smeared with backlash and insults due to the derogatory term and phenomenon. I assume that this phenomenon will continue to grow and increase as time come, due to more and more women starting to become even more empowered, educated, independent, and financially stable. A patriarchal Chinese society should instead, start embracing and being inclusive to these women and start working on improving gender equality problems rather than outcasting and ostracizing them as the main culprit for the declining rates of marriage. As the younger generation evolves, people are getting more exposed to the different cultures beyond their own. Today, China still remains a predominantly conservative culture. However, as new views and concepts start gradually being incorporated and introduced, it is just a matter of time before the new generation starts transforming into an amalgamation of conservative Chinese and Western liberals.
China has evolved and grown into an upper-middle-income country and is also the largest country in Asia with the largest population in the whole world. However, while China continues to develop and flourish, there is just one underlying issue that has been slowing down – marriage.
Written as an Essay Paper at the University at Buffalo, 2020.
